Disclaimer: The below article contains a list of swear words. This article does not encourage use of them but is merely an informative guide.
Language is a beautiful institution and in many ways it is just like humans. A language is born, it breathes, it grows, it evolves and eventually a language dies. Every language has a different culture, a land and a unique identity. And perhaps our language, the Urdu language, is one of the most unique of all because of how expressive it is, especially through its curse words.
Now we’ve all grown up with fond memories of hearing “ullo ka patha!” (owl’s excretion) from our parents. If you had more hot-headed parents, you might’ve even heard “haramzada!” (bastard. Now who are you really insulting, Mom?) But a lot of us, especially girls, don’t hear the street level bad language that most men are accustomed to. This is why really funny incidents like this happen where you accidentally say gaandu thinking it means ganda:
So I’ve prepared a guide for all those innocent prinXes and prinXcesses, who have so far been sheltered from the everyday curse words of us uncouth youth. This guide is so that you don’t think BC means “big cutie” and end up writing it to your fourteen year old cousin.
Pronounced; BHAIN-CHUD/BHAINCHOD. Literal translation: someone who has an incestuous relationship with his sister.
This is one of the most commonly used curse word. The beauty of this word is that it can literally be used in every context and mean anything. It can be a description for someone who isn’t a nice person, or it could be used to express your amazement or it could just be used to finish a sentence which felt incomplete. Amidst bros, it isn’t even considered a curse word and could be used as greeting. “kaisay hai bhenchod?” It is often used as an exclamation of surprise (Bhen-chod!! Ye kya hogaya!) or just as a finishing touch to a vague sounding sentence. (Dill khush ho gaya bhenchod)
Now we understand that some feminists may very rightly find this problematic because of the sexist origins of it. Sisters and mothers were considered property and the prime upholders of a man’s honor, which is why targeting them would be considered the greatest insult to a man. However, we can argue that women have reclaimed this word and use it in an empowering way. Anyway it’s a debate for another day. Today it is just an extremely satisfying word. Also used as BC when one wants to be politically correct.
^Pictured above: a bhenchod
This is one of the most trickiest word. Innoxcent princes and princess might be fooled into thinking it is just a cute take on the word gandi. But cute it is not. In fact it has one of the crudest meanings- it refers to one who takes something up their backside. So now that you know, you might want to rethink tagging your friend in a Gandoo meme.
Gaandoo is usually used as an insult among men who are pretty insecure about themselves. The most insecure and sad of men are those who are afraid of embracing any sensitive or feminine aspects of themselves so if you want to see if the guy you’re with is a loser, call him a gaandoo and if he freaks out, you definitely know he is what you called him.
Pictured above: A gaando
This is the English equivalent of motherfucker. Kind of like bhenchod but much more serious and not used as often. Friends use it in fights to indicate that this fight is quite serious and not just a haatha pai. Don’t use this word, it’s just ugly and it’s often reserved for the vilest of the vile. Like this guy:
Pictured above: an honest to goodness Madarchod
d) Dallay: pronounced: dall-eh. Means pimp.
It’s often used as a counter-remark to somebody making the most stupid of requests. This gaali is often reserved for our most loser and tharki of friends who are ready to sell out their integrity just to get a laugh. It’s also used very commonly for those friends of ours who are desperate and always asking for a bachi. So the next time that loser dude in Computer Science class who keeps trying to befriend you in order to hook up with your best friend asks you to help him, tell him to buzz off because you’re not a dalla.
e) Lun : pronounced LUN. Not to be confused with LUMS, a prestigious university in Defense (although a lot of its students can be called that, trust me). Literally means a penis. It can be used as an adjective to describe what a dick someone is (kaafi lun banda hai yar) or simply used as a swear word to tell someone to get lost. It could even be used to literally, to indicate if a certain body part of yours is hurting.
Whoops, wrong picture!
So this is all for today. A point to note: I AM NOT ENCOURAGING YOU TO USE THESE WORDS. This was just an educational guide for those of us who often accidentally say the wrong things and don’t know what they mean.